I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
