my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
