Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
