i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
