and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
