today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
