I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
