Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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