I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
