Please, let me fuck your mom
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
