5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
