Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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