If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
