Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
