let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
