We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
