did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Bring me that man meat
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
