can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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