I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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