just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
