I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
