so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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