is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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