Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
