Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
