I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
