This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
