is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
