Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
