The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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