my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
