4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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