Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
