this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
