I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
