Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Shame - the story of my life.
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