Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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