real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
