all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
