Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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