i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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