I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
