They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
