I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
