there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
