I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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