i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
