cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
