WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
