Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
